Let the topic not mislead you. I am not going to launch into a lengthy discourse on the idiosyncracies of the extended family. Rather would like to focus on an aspect of the Indian culture that makes us 'extend' our already 'extended' families. Let me put forth a question now. What do you call the parents of your friends/acquaintences who are not related to you by blood. Would you refer to them as Mr./Mrs. (surname) or as 'uncle' & 'aunty'. I believe if you are reasonably rooted in the Indian culture, you are likely to use the latter in your language. The funny thing is that this 'uncle' & 'aunty' does not mean the same as the blood related 'uncle' & 'aunty' even though you do not prefix or suffix anything in usage. The user & the receiver of such warmth does perceive the difference & is comfortable with the same. Personally as a kid I never found it odd. But at my age now, I find it odd. But the flip side is that I would make it worse for all concerned if I have to refer to my friend's parents as Mr. or Mrs. 'so & so'. It states a certain formality that as Indians we are not comfortable with and would perhaps mislead the receiver to perceive a certain 'coldness' on your part. So in any such situation what I generally do, is what makes the 'THEM' comfortable. Close friends parents obviously get sucked into the vortex of my familial connections by virtue of their closeness. And in the rest I do what generally makes 'ME' more comfortable. What do you think? For a totally unrelated blog-post on the topic 'Uncle', read- http://maduraiarian.blogspot.com/2005/10/maamaaanthaa-ball-kodu.html
4 comments:
Dei.. I think you are reading too many classics and watching too many old hollywood classics !
Yeah you are right it is odd and different from the rest of the world! But, dont you think culturally we set ourselves (Indians) apart. We are like a reeeeaaalllly HUUUUGE family !!! dont you think?
hey..
i think the moment i talk in english..ive a feeling that that person is not family...thats how i differentiate...tamil and sourashtra reserved for family...english is foreign and reserved for ppl outside...so calling "uncle" is definitely okay with me...
whats odd to me is some frnds calling my parents "mama" and "mami"..lot of ppl do that too...
just my 2 paise..
englipishu theriyadhavanga ellam enna pannuvanga???... how do u call a friend's grand ma or grand pa??... Grandfather or uncle or thatha???
Tks for ur comments guys.
Kartik- I didn't think abt. a person not knowing english. But i do find that it doesn't inhibit ppl frm using words like sir, madam, uncle, aunty etc. This includes the auto driver, beggar children etc.
Sometimes it better off 2 just lk at a person & start the conversation, rather than refer to him with a relational identity!
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