Analyze This!

It was late in the evening on the 15th Of October. It had been raining & I was just returning home after spending a leisurely saturday with friends. I was on my bike and I slowed down as I saw the traffic accumulating at the Red light ahead. I was dead in the middle of traffic ensconced on all sides by motorists all eager to get home before another downpour. I turned my head to the left and I see the familiar Khaki wading right into the serpentine maze. He seems to be talking to the guy in front of me. Obviously satisfied by the answers he received he had already started turning away. Normally I would have panicked as my Bike was AP-registered (see previous post of mine). But recently I had put all my papers in order and so I sat there with a smirk on my face. So like I was saying, the cop was turning away & he saw the alphabets 'AP' on my bike and with a salivating look on his face, walked up to me. He said - 'Helmet Remove Panunga'. A little apprehensive now, I slowly undid the helmet strap and looked him straight in the eye. What he told me next totally consumed me. He said- 'blow' & put his nose close to my mouth. I looked at him & said- 'WHAT?'. He said again- 'Blow' and pushed his nose into my space with an expectant look of a worshiper extending his hands forward for some prasad. By then, I was amused, and all apprehension vanished & I gave him my best blow of breath as I could. He seemed to have some look, post that, as if trying to analyse whether the fermented smell of digested 'chicken, coffee, fried rice' etc coming from my bowels constituted a bizzare form of alcohol. Seemingly satisfied he walked away. By then the light turned green and I was already smiling to myself as I imagined the cop handing me a ticket for bad breath and advising me to have less onions in my diet. While I was amused, please do not think I am heartless. I did feel sorry for the cop/s who have to analyse the various gastric concoctions of the average Indian motorist in this bizarre way in the absence of breath analyzers that are available in the west.