Showing posts with label General. Show all posts
Showing posts with label General. Show all posts

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Stupidity

I have done my share of stupid things in my lifetime. Some I am sure I have pushed to some far corner of my brain, just so that I do not embarass myself as my brain does some TV sitcom kinda reruns at some idle moment. Some stupid things I have done, have been a result of me not being thorough and fortunately did have happy endings with some amusement & laughter to boot. Here are a list of the top 3 and they all have to do with travel.

3. Had booked a return bus ticket for Krishnan, Pradeep & me from Madurai (friend's wedding) to Bangalore for 10 PM on 27th Dec. We landed there on 27th Dec, finished with the wedding formalities by 2.30 PM and were on our way back to YMCA where we were put up. Krishnan (must have had a premonition) decides to check with the travel company on the way, on where to board the bus. We then find that the ticket issued is for Bangalore-Chennai. Given that the handwriting was gibberish, my failure to check on the fine print makes this stupid on my part. We ended up breaking our journey into 2 and taking buses with lesser comforts. It ranks no. 3 only because there were no return tickets available anyways to Bangalore and we would have had to do what we did finally. Krishnan's premonition though saved us time, headaches & money.

2. Krishnan, Pradeep & I are sitting at the Bangalore Cantonment Station for a weekend trip to chennai. I had booked the ticket supposedly for the 11 PM train or so. We were sitting on a bench and we notice a family running to catch a train which just came in. Pradeep remarks- 'Why can't people come early to catch a train they know is going to arrive at a certain time'. Krishnan & I add to that & we share a good laugh. Then Krishnan asks me the train number & we realize that the train in front of us is the train we are supposed to board. In the end we end up running & just about manage to catch the train. No harm done. But ranked no. 2 for failure to read simple english on a simple ticket.

1. I had booked an online rail ticket to Salem from Bangalore. The evening I was supposed to leave, I get my bag, lock my room and just when I am to board my auto to the station, see the ticket & realize that the departure time is 6 AM & not 6 PM. I end up travelling on a crowded bus, standing non-stop for 4 hrs to Salem. This ranks no. 1 purely for the discomfort I faced due to my stupidity.

I do want to thank God, that all these incidents ended well with little or no discomfort. Having chilled out friends who reflect your attitude of 'Okay. Shit happens. Now what?' also helps. I am hoping I have learnt my lesson from all these incidents though.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Ella!

Kids can say & do the darnest things with innocence carved on their faces. Sometimes they can drive you nuts. But more often than not, they warm your heart. Last Friday I had gone to help out at a fund rasing campaign for a choir group travelling to Shillong. Towards the end as I was saying my byes to people who were leaving. I saw little Ella, all of 6 yrs I think and a darling of a girl (I had first met her, her parents Ashwin, Samantha & her sister Petra by chance on her birthday about a month earlier). I asked her to come over, which to my surprise she did. I gave her a hug & she coyly looked at me thereafter. I launched into a fictional sob story about how no girl ever liked me and all and I told that she was the cutest thing I had seen in a long time and I really liked her. I said a few other things & I planted a goodbye kiss on her cheek as her parents were about to leave. She came out of my arms, while I was sitting there on the stairs, she looked me with such innocence & love in her eyes & planted a kiss on my cheek in turn. For the life of me I must say I was so touched by the gesture. What amazed me was that this girl at such an young age could be sensitive to other people and the willingness to reach out & express it with such unrestrained innocence was beautiful. At that moment I realized that she had made my day and realized what true beauty is. I said a prayer for her that night. That she will love and be loved every day for the rest of her life. For a related article click here.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Beauty: A Discourse

The following article is an attempt at pondering on the concept of beauty, its evolution, the biological imperative and the implications of our perceptions. I have drawn heavily from a few research articles written by biologists, philosophers & sociologists and in no small part to my own musings on the subject. Due credit for the spark that ignited this article lies with a friend of mine whose insistence on not wearing make-up stands out in my mind as a wonderful gift of 'self-acceptance' a continum on which the majority still struggle at the lower ends.
What Is Beauty?: While I would be referring to both men & women, the emphasis in the text below would be on women. Lets start at the very basics. Who decided that fair skin is more beautiful than black? Who decided that breast size has anything to do with beauty. Who decided that a pout akin to Angelina Jolie is sexy? Why can't being small, freckle-faced, small breasted, over-weight woman be considered beautiful? Why can't short, thin, round-faced, dark, balding men be considered handsome. One half of the answer is that the concept of beauty is evolutionary over time & though it varies across cultures has a strong root in darwinian selection.
Evolutionary Theory of Beauty: Beauty initially conveyed a language more overtly than at present. Evolutionary scientists including Darwin himself have found that certain features and characteristics considered beautiful are actually indicators of developmental health and is fundamental to the evolutionary process of both humans and animals alike. Diverse observations carried out by evolutionary biologists over time have indicated a positive correlation between attractive physical traits and higher proportion of fertility and good health. Hence, beauty acts as a 'certification of biological quality' to propagate the gene more likely to succeed. One such 'attractive' physical attribute of women that positively correlates in to an indicator of child bearing ability and healthiness is relative waist to hip ratio. Men are observed to 'biologically' prefer women with a striking hour glass figure (a small waist to hip ratio) since these physical features of a woman are what is considered the most salient indicators of her ability to procreate.
Likewise, the heavy lower face that women favor in men is a visible record of the surge in androgens (testosterone and other male sex hormones) that turns small boys into 200-pound spear-throwers. An oversized jaw is biologically expensive, for the androgens required to produce it tend to compromise the immune system. But from a female's perspective, that should make jaw size all the more revealing. Evolutionists think of androgen-based features as "honest advertisements" of disease resistance. If a male can afford them without falling sick, the thinking goes, he must have a superior immune system in the first place. Almost every bodily charecteristic can thus be extended to convey a health & procreative ability that is translated into the sub-conscious realm that helps in propogating the dominant & successful genes and eliminating the bad genes. For example a high percentage of hair on a woman's body could be indicative of higher testosterone levels, leading to an hypothesis of lesser estrogen and lesser chance to procreate.
The 'Short-listing' theory: Why do companies & educational institutions conduct entrance examinations. It is a basis to short-list potential candidates when its not possible to meet personally with all of them. So it is the evolutionary scheme of things. It is not possible for you to invest time with a larger group & get to know everybody & then decide who to be friends with etc. So whether you like this about yourself or not you associate a face with qualities of character or personality like kindness, outgoing, happy, honest, angry, sad, aggressive and hence form a basis to be comfortable to take things forward. Of course its crude but it makes life simple.
Defining Beauty: One key to physical attractiveness is symmetry; humans, like other species, show a strong preference for individuals whose right and left sides are well matched. Denzel Washington's face, is almost completely symmetrical. Babies spend more time staring at pictures of symmetric individuals than they do at photos of asymmetric ones. Moreover, when several faces are averaged to create a composite thus covering up the asymmetries that any one individual may have, a panel of judges deemed the composite more attractive than the individual pictures. For more on this research Click here & here
A configuration close to the population mean is fundamental to attractiveness. So the stereotype that all women prefer tall men may not be necessarily true. They are likely to prefer men maybe a little taller than the average as a departure from the average could probably suggest an uncommon gene chareccteristic that is less likely to succeed than the average one which has already proved its worth. Of course there is a danger in over-generalization. For example, Chinese men used to prefer women with small feet. In some African tribal cultures, men like women who insert large discs in their lips.
Can we redefine society's definition of beauty: In one experiment, a group of babies were shown several slides of faces reliably rated by adults to be more or less attractive. The babies saw the faces of either Caucasian male or female adults, African-American adult females, or the faces of other infants. In each experiment, eight attractive and eight unattractive faces, matched closely for hair length, style, color, and facial expression, were chosen from a large group of faces. Pairs of these faces were projected side-by-side so that each image was about the size of a real face. The amount of time each infant looked at each face was then recorded. The results of all these studies were straightforward and unambiguous. Babies look longer at adult-judged attractive faces than at unattractive faces, regardless of whether the face is male or female, white or black, adult or infant. This study probably shows that the basic ideas of beauty across cultures are ingrained & are probably not shaped by contemporary culture like previously thought.
What about inner beauty?: In one study, 70% of college students deemed an instructor physically attractive when he acted in a friendly manner, while only 30% found him attractive when he was cold and distant. Indeed, when surveyed for attributes in selecting a mate, both males and females felt kindness and an exciting personality were more important in a mate than good looks. Thus charater & personality traits do add to the 'physical' attractiveness of a person. In my personal opinion, it is possible for one to decide to see the inner beauty in people. This happens out of sheer experience and the concepts of beauty ingrained from the media can be de-learnt and be replaced with this wisdom.
Behavioral Consequences: When a person is seen as attractive or unattractive, a whole set of assumptions are brought into play. Across cultures, what is beautiful is assumed to be good. Attractive people are assumed to be more extroverted, popular, and happy. There is truth in this — attractive people do tend to have these characteristics. However, this is probably due to self-fulfilling prophecy; from a young age attractive people receive more attention that helps them develop positive characteristics.
Even parents judge and treat their own children differently based on attractiveness (have you noticed that we gravitate towards those babies that are 'cute' and 'beautiful'?), although they are not aware of it. In a study of more than 150 Caucasian, Mexican American, and African American newborn infants and mothers, it was found that moms of attractive first-born infants were more attentive and affectionate than moms of less attractive first-borns. All the mothers denied that attractiveness should matter in parental treatment of children but their behavior belied their beliefs. Studies have also found out that more attractive people are more likely to succeed in finding acceptance, friendships, promotions in the workplace and in finding a mate than their less attractive peers.
Nature levels it out: So are we saying that if you are not attractive you lose out: A belief probably that leads many to go in for surgery or excessive use of cosmetics to alter appearences to stand a good chance in life and in the mating game. Symmetric men & women have been found more likely to be promiscous in their relationships. Whereas asymetric men, knowing their chances are less in finding an attractive mate, invest more time & effort into their relationships which is valued by women for a stable family environment to raise children in (have you noticed any good looking Hollywood comedians? Nature teaches us to adapt in many ways to find the acceptability we all need) . Women on the other hand opt for symmetric men early on but display no such preference in their later years.
Maybe that is where 'cliches' like 'Dumb Blondes' really crept in. Admitting to the danger of stereotyping now I could state that people who are less likely to find acceptability through their appearences are likely to try various other ways like smartness, knowledgeability, money, sense of humor, 'interesting personality', musical abilities etc to increase their chances of acceptability. While this may not be necessarily an overt reaction it is a natural adaptive reaction to survive in a competitive 'survival of the fittest' society.
Conclusion: Beauty is more than skin deep. It has a genetic and developmental basis which influences perceptions of beauty and human sexual behavior. It is for each person to be happy with his lot, thank his maker and participate in life's scheme of things (Frankly I am able to reconcile God & evolution in this argument). It is sad that many of us are not able to accept ourselves the way we are. No amount of cosmetics or plastic surgery can help us reach that level of self-acceptance. I personally think that there is nothing wrong in enhancing one's beauty using various accessories. But when it only acts as a crutch on which you can find 'self-acceptance' I see that as an issue.
Beauty as a concept wouldn't exist if there wasn't anybody to admire it. So Beauty, defining it, admiring it and being attracted towards it has some universal commonality and a cultural & individual bias which is good. What is wrong is to be solely governed by it. It is good to constantly endeavour to look beneath the skin in all relationships. Beauty draws a man & woman together and I see it as a necessity to propogate the human genome. The initial sexual attraction serves as the spark to motivate two people to pursue the path toward coming together. Without it, singling out one person for intimacy would be boring and lifeless. But the basic premise of that motivation is to make a man & woman know each other intimately at levels other than physical, so as to base their relationship on a true everlasting inner beauty. If not, a shaky union defeats the very purpose of evolution, which is to provide the best environment for your genetic code to be successful generation after generation. I leave you with William Wordsworth's words below that talks about true beauty, a beauty that lovers discover, a beauty beyond physical attractiveness that brought the lovers together in the first place. That kind of beauty discovered is what goes the distance.

True beauty dwells in deep retreats,
Whose veil is unremoved
Till heart with heart in concord beats,
And the lover is beloved

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Its me!

So who am I really? Is there something about me that is really 'Me'; something unique? Am I product of happenstance, a series of accidental encounters with artists of destiny, each adding his touch to his vision of a masterpiece. Or am I like the floyd number goes- 'Another brick in the Wall'. As I keep delving into this, I realize that we are all probably just a hop-scotch of the caricatures of people, images & experiences that we have run into at various points of life. Its logical you see. Your facial charecteristics, your body, your skin color is just a mixture of your Mom & Dad's genetic signatures. You learnt your morals through your parents morals or God's inbuilt conscience. The way you talk, the language you speak, the words you choose were all learnt from your social circles. Your interests, your hobbies also is dependent on influences of youth. Your idea of romance, marriage, parenting etc is either ingrained from experiences of your own family or some warped sense of it from the countless hollywood movies or books being churned out. In other words we are all a pot pouri, a melange of scents accumulated over time each indistinguishable from the other. The individual scents were probably unique at some time, but when I cannot say. I saw a movie recently where the heroine suddenly makes some wierd nasal noises and contorts funnily . She answers her guy's incredulous look by saying that every now & then she tries to do something really unique & its satisfying knowing that she is probably the only one who ever did that. Funny! But meaningful in the sense that all of us like artists are trying to carve our niche out in this world, each promoting the brand 'me', discovering & reinventing. Me, I am resigned to the fact that life gives me an opportunity to be an expert perfumer to mix & match scents, some bad and some good and everywhere along the road I recreate magic by creating unique blends; a pot pourri, but nevertheless pleasant and soothing to everyone who passes me by.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Double Dose!

2-3 yrs of no rains & when it does, it gets dumped in one go over a small area in a short span of time with arrears & interest included. Its no time to be happy for some. I am personally worried as my home in Chennai is under 4 inches of water with the forecasts said to be getting worse from now. The thought of my parents battling nature's fury alone is unsettling. While it will be a long time before we start seeing people queueing before water lorries, it leaves a lot of immediate aftershocks that few realise. A lot of waterborne diseases are going to be the scourge of the season. Some people who were depending on this Diwali season for their livelihood by selling firecrackers will be left dissappointed. The economic productivity of the local/state economy is affected as offices shut down. Insurance companies feel the pinch with claims especially in motor insurance expected to go up by 30% this month. The damage caused to infrastructure puts further pressure on the exchequer. And of course, lives are lost, which in most cases are the poor or the homeless. Only the school children may have something to cheer with their holidays being extended into the diwali season. But with most open spaces indundated with rain, I am sure that they too would be at a loss to explain how they could be happy when all they can do in the name of stretching their legs is stay at home. So there is really nothing to be happy about in the short term. Unless, you are a very positive person & you look at the whole incident as a temporary inconvenience. A measured dose of anything is good. This Double Dose is bad. Lets hope mother earth does not OD on it and suffer a serious haemorrage.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Of Bikes, Enron & the Law

Has anybody ever told you to do something wrong or criminal? If you, stuck to your morals then, that probably showed the strength of your character. There was a period in my life when I tried to follow the book of ethics to the letter. Even if I walked in 'blank' to the examination hall, I promised myself that I would never cheat (a.k.a copy). I thought I could carry this easily over on to the real world once I graduate, earn, stand on my own legs, pay my bills etc. But its easier said than done. Its been tough. For e.g I had promised myself that I would never ever bribe or accept bribes. But the day came when a cop caught me for parking in a 'no-parking' zone. To top that charge, I didn't have insurance, emission certificate & I hadn't even paid the Karnataka road tax. He threatened me with an hefty fine of around 1200 Rs. I buckled & I eventually paid around 700 Rs in bribe. Due in part to my own laziness & negligence I have ended up paying up further bribes till about a month ago, when I got all my papers in order. I am sure, very few people will have the moral strength to say that I have done wrong & I will pay for it, no matter what the cost. To the rest of us, the only solution, before we transcend to that zone, is to probably try our best to stick to the right side of the morality/law at all times so that an opportunity never arises, for our morals or ethics to be tested. If you still haven't understood whats the relation between the comic strip & whats been written, its this- "If you cannot maintain your morals & ethics in small things how will you maintain them in bigger issues". I am sure that Bernard Ebbers or Kenneth Lay, the erstwhile CEO's of Worldcom & Enron respectively didn't turn crooks overnight. I am sure it all started perhaps in some small ways as stealing their schoolmates lunch boxes.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Bored?

Yes! I am! and I have no idea what to do about it. Anything I do becomes routine after a point. So is something wrong with me or is it just life? Tried my hand at french classes & quit that after it became 'routine'. Tried my hand at gymming & though I have not quit that, its 'just exercise'. Going to movies has become the 'weekend' routine. In fact the initial thrill of being in 'namma bengalooru' has been replaced by boredom. So much so that the same set of pals I meet with in Bangalore, go to Chennai & meet up there. As if the change in location would make life interesting. Office has always been routine. And even reading sometimes does. Here is a list of things that could happen right now that could break this routine,

1. My super-boss looking over my shoulder & taking me to task for whiling away time in writing blogs.
2. My client calling me up to offer me a million dollar deal.
3. I look out of the window & I see 'Godzilla' zipping by.
4. Somebody smokes in the cubicle, setting off the sprinkler system & we have an impromptu rain dance.
5. I get a call from ALL credit card companies offering me a 'free' credit card but which this time means I can buy anything & not have to pay back.
6. I somehow get transported into movies when i want it instead of just watching it.

What outrageous thing could happen to you at this moment that could break your routine & stay etched in your memory for life? Let me know! But me being me - I might just look out the window tomorrow, turn to my cubicle-mate & say, "Its just Godzilla".

Uncles & Aunts

Let the topic not mislead you. I am not going to launch into a lengthy discourse on the idiosyncracies of the extended family. Rather would like to focus on an aspect of the Indian culture that makes us 'extend' our already 'extended' families. Let me put forth a question now. What do you call the parents of your friends/acquaintences who are not related to you by blood. Would you refer to them as Mr./Mrs. (surname) or as 'uncle' & 'aunty'. I believe if you are reasonably rooted in the Indian culture, you are likely to use the latter in your language. The funny thing is that this 'uncle' & 'aunty' does not mean the same as the blood related 'uncle' & 'aunty' even though you do not prefix or suffix anything in usage. The user & the receiver of such warmth does perceive the difference & is comfortable with the same. Personally as a kid I never found it odd. But at my age now, I find it odd. But the flip side is that I would make it worse for all concerned if I have to refer to my friend's parents as Mr. or Mrs. 'so & so'. It states a certain formality that as Indians we are not comfortable with and would perhaps mislead the receiver to perceive a certain 'coldness' on your part. So in any such situation what I generally do, is what makes the 'THEM' comfortable. Close friends parents obviously get sucked into the vortex of my familial connections by virtue of their closeness. And in the rest I do what generally makes 'ME' more comfortable. What do you think? For a totally unrelated blog-post on the topic 'Uncle', read- http://maduraiarian.blogspot.com/2005/10/maamaaanthaa-ball-kodu.html